Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
