But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
my being single is dangerous.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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