He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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