so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
