Don't you send me to vm
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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