I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
