Just fell off a train. Bad.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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