I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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