Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
