He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
Randomize
