i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
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