I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
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there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
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There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
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