I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
just woke up on the floor of my shower...it was still runnning
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
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