You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
