she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
