I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
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whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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