when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
