can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
Don't look him in the eyes, it like looking at the sun but instead of burning your retinas it makes you wet and vulnerable
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Randomize
