your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize