You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
