i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
