i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
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