he puts the penis in happiness.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE