she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
These People Had Regrettable One Night Stands
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
This Girl Makes Latte Art That’s Too Cute to Drink
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride