it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
25 Men Confess The Moment They Knew They Wanted To Marry Their Wife
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
You Wouldn’t Guess That These 25 Celebrities Are Complete A**holes
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth