dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Well I just put wine in my tea
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man