just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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