I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
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