No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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