Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Randomize
