She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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