yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
sex in a hospital.. check
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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