She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
