Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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