just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
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Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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