im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
