fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
