think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
