I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
