Life is so much better after having sex.
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
Been in bed for 16 hours. Haven't eaten in 18 hours. Haven't pissed in almost 20 hours. Fuck you Stacey and your former reign as laziest bitch. I got the title now.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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