you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
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