Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
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