i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
