She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
It's official drugs can't kill me
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Randomize
