Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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