Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
My penis needs a shock collar
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
