You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
