i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I just hooked up with the same bartender my dad cheated on my mom with in the 90s. Not sure how this makes me feel.
family traditions my good sir
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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