the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I just dropped $300 on lingerie. He better rip this off with his teeth.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Randomize
