I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I'm at about main and main street
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
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