Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
Randomize
