No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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