are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
Have you resumed life with the rest of the world yet or are you still huddled in the fetal position while wearing compression gear?
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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