Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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