Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
