apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
