I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
