I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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