I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
it's like heaven, but drunker
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
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