Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(810): View more from Michigan

This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle

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(303): View more from Colorado

She went from zero to smokin in five shots

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.

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(214): View more from Texas

Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go

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Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.

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(716): View more from New York

I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.

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(360): View more from Washington

Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.

(360): View more from Washington

It was me.

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(815): View more from Illinois

best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.

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(619): View more from California

She's still here. My penis can feel it.

(858): View more from California

Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago

(619): View more from California

FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector

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