This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector