whjeg hajt iyt
wanna hang out?
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
25 People Reveal The Creepiest Kids They Went to School With
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
She's the barista slut.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
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I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys