Texts From Last Night

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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?

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  (337): but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp? http://tfl.nu/p1my
  Replies (28) Good night (1211) Bad night (5815)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!

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  (708): you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas! http://tfl.nu/ibug
  Replies (10) Good night (5669) Bad night (687)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.

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  (732): i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that. http://tfl.nu/vsly
  Replies (26) Good night (1176) Bad night (7930)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.

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  (479): I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head. http://tfl.nu/p8jq
  Replies (20) Good night (1378) Bad night (4352)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.

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  (315): I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever. http://tfl.nu/6dcd
  Replies (20) Good night (6372) Bad night (1087)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.

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  (978): So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show. http://tfl.nu/9mds
  Replies (16) Good night (3758) Bad night (793)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration

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  (513): I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration http://tfl.nu/y2rq
  Replies (20) Good night (1678) Bad night (2527)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.

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  (808): mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done. http://tfl.nu/ufw3
  Replies (7) Good night (2003) Bad night (994)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?

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  (678): Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting? http://tfl.nu/j29m
  Replies (11) Good night (2294) Bad night (577)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"

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  (520): They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield" http://tfl.nu/wdyt
  Replies (8) Good night (2948) Bad night (748)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.

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  (321): Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip. http://tfl.nu/0cyl
  Replies (7) Good night (1288) Bad night (675)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned

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  (207): making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned http://tfl.nu/s1xm
  Replies (4) Good night (789) Bad night (627)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.

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  (208): Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen. http://tfl.nu/0ir7
  Replies (3) Good night (605) Bad night (783)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.

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  (408): I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility. http://tfl.nu/5lhi
  Replies (1) Good night (314) Bad night (429)
• Favorite

  (786): View more from Florida

  Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.

  (1-786): View more from Florida

  Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?

  (786): View more from Florida

  I insist.

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  (786): Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted. (1-786): Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat? (786): I insist. http://tfl.nu/nbuf
  Replies (2) Good night (1019) Bad night (267)

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