I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already