Texts From Last Night

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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive

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  (571): I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive http://tfl.nu/mms9
  Replies (10) Good night (5228) Bad night (808)
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  (786): View more from Florida

  He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way

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  (786): He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way http://tfl.nu/nq2f
  Replies (26) Good night (5623) Bad night (1506)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette

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  (339): I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette http://tfl.nu/67ko
  Replies (22) Good night (5981) Bad night (1505)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level

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  (256): just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level http://tfl.nu/5gsk
  Replies (8) Good night (2905) Bad night (978)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....

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  (215): Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank.... http://tfl.nu/wvlh
  Replies (27) Good night (1208) Bad night (5191)
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15

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  (301): did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15 http://tfl.nu/scbj
  Replies (7) Good night (2552) Bad night (883)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after

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  (412): Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after http://tfl.nu/0llh
  Replies (11) Good night (4526) Bad night (840)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?

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  (409): Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall? http://tfl.nu/ymbz
  Replies (7) Good night (2429) Bad night (773)
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  (862): View more from New Jersey

  I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!

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  (862): I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands! http://tfl.nu/blis
  Replies (33) Good night (6281) Bad night (1228)
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  (561): View more from Florida

  I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.

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  (561): I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company. http://tfl.nu/ywd5
  Replies (4) Good night (582) Bad night (1113)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!

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  (702): Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one! http://tfl.nu/ayyz
  Replies (3) Good night (816) Bad night (280)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.

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  (240): This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn. http://tfl.nu/cv1s
  Replies (3) Good night (300) Bad night (550)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."

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  (307): Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator." http://tfl.nu/nuq5
  Replies (3) Good night (353) Bad night (329)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"

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  (407): You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways" http://tfl.nu/gs8x
  Replies (3) Good night (620) Bad night (254)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.

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  (850): Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore. http://tfl.nu/g2ed
  Replies (2) Good night (245) Bad night (516)

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