Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Randomize
