My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
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