Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
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