We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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