ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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