I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
