Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
